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Tuesday, August 4, 2009
shopping centre
Flex your Conceps
Like any other muscle, the brain needs regular, challenging exercise if you want to make it all hard and bulgy and get the veins to pop out.
The brain is a marvel of nature. Made entirely of greyish-pinkish goop, it is nonetheless capable of processing information at dizzying speeds. Which is ironic, since it is also responsible for dizziness at high speeds. The brain is more sophisticated than our most sophisticated supercomputers, even the really, really sophisticated ones, like that attend black-tie events and listen to classical music and use bidets.
In fact, have you heard of Shakuntala Devi? She could multiply 13-digit numbers together in her head back in the ‘70s and ‘80s when supercomputers still took up a whole room. Processors are much smaller and faster now, and some of Ms. Devi’s descendants can fit in your pocket.
Of course, you will never be a “human calculator.” But, if you exercise your thinker enough, maybe you can at least become a “human rememberer of the location of your keys.” A fun way to start your mental conditioning regimen is with the Einstein Touch series of handheld games.
For problem-solving, there’s the Sudoku one. It features 999 specially selected puzzles, plus a new puzzle generator function. It has three levels of difficulty through which you can progress, and a “hint” key to help you when you are too stupid or lazy to just figure it out on your own, come on.
For creative thinking and increased cerebral flexibility, there’s the “Mind Trainer.” It plays eleven different games with varying degrees of difficulty, and keeps track of your all-time records and stats so you can track your progress from imbecile to better-than-imbecile. It has six training modes so you can focus on Imagination, Analysis, Memorization, Calculation, Memorization, Intuition, Listening, and Memorization. Wait, did I say Memorization already?
Finally, for improving your abilities in warfare and general combat strategy, there’s Chess On the Go. Among the features it offers over its 56 levels of play are a threat indicator, automatic scoring, a game timer, and an “undo” key for cheaters. Unfortunately, it doesn’t make a lamentations of the women sound when you subject your opponent to crushing defeat, but waddyagonnado?
The brain is too important to allow it to atrophy. It’s where almost all your thinking happens. We knew this one guy, all he did was watch celebrity dance competitions every night after work, and eventually he went completely stupid. There’s no recovery from that, once it happens. On the other hand, the benefits of a healthy brain are almost too numerous to list. You’ll remember the important events on your schedule, you’ll find it easier to solve real-life problems, and you won’t fall for so many Nigerian email scams. You may even improve your romantic life! Some people say the brain is the most sensitive erogenous zone, which is why we sometimes call it the “thinksticle.”
Yes, everyone’s brain eventually goes bad—if not from disuse, then from fever, old-age degeneration, or post-mortem rot. But if you challenge your skull-filling on a regular basis with fun, stimulating puzzles and games, you can temporarily forestall its inevitable deterioration, maybe even long enough to do some of your own funeral planning. And isn’t that the greatest reward of all?
Like any other muscle, the brain needs regular, challenging exercise if you want to make it all hard and bulgy and get the veins to pop out.
The brain is a marvel of nature. Made entirely of greyish-pinkish goop, it is nonetheless capable of processing information at dizzying speeds. Which is ironic, since it is also responsible for dizziness at high speeds. The brain is more sophisticated than our most sophisticated supercomputers, even the really, really sophisticated ones, like that attend black-tie events and listen to classical music and use bidets.
In fact, have you heard of Shakuntala Devi? She could multiply 13-digit numbers together in her head back in the ‘70s and ‘80s when supercomputers still took up a whole room. Processors are much smaller and faster now, and some of Ms. Devi’s descendants can fit in your pocket.
Of course, you will never be a “human calculator.” But, if you exercise your thinker enough, maybe you can at least become a “human rememberer of the location of your keys.” A fun way to start your mental conditioning regimen is with the Einstein Touch series of handheld games.
For problem-solving, there’s the Sudoku one. It features 999 specially selected puzzles, plus a new puzzle generator function. It has three levels of difficulty through which you can progress, and a “hint” key to help you when you are too stupid or lazy to just figure it out on your own, come on.
For creative thinking and increased cerebral flexibility, there’s the “Mind Trainer.” It plays eleven different games with varying degrees of difficulty, and keeps track of your all-time records and stats so you can track your progress from imbecile to better-than-imbecile. It has six training modes so you can focus on Imagination, Analysis, Memorization, Calculation, Memorization, Intuition, Listening, and Memorization. Wait, did I say Memorization already?
Finally, for improving your abilities in warfare and general combat strategy, there’s Chess On the Go. Among the features it offers over its 56 levels of play are a threat indicator, automatic scoring, a game timer, and an “undo” key for cheaters. Unfortunately, it doesn’t make a lamentations of the women sound when you subject your opponent to crushing defeat, but waddyagonnado?
The brain is too important to allow it to atrophy. It’s where almost all your thinking happens. We knew this one guy, all he did was watch celebrity dance competitions every night after work, and eventually he went completely stupid. There’s no recovery from that, once it happens. On the other hand, the benefits of a healthy brain are almost too numerous to list. You’ll remember the important events on your schedule, you’ll find it easier to solve real-life problems, and you won’t fall for so many Nigerian email scams. You may even improve your romantic life! Some people say the brain is the most sensitive erogenous zone, which is why we sometimes call it the “thinksticle.”
Yes, everyone’s brain eventually goes bad—if not from disuse, then from fever, old-age degeneration, or post-mortem rot. But if you challenge your skull-filling on a regular basis with fun, stimulating puzzles and games, you can temporarily forestall its inevitable deterioration, maybe even long enough to do some of your own funeral planning. And isn’t that the greatest reward of all?
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